Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category



July 12, 2011

There’s a lot going on locally. Pretty much every weekend recently there’s been an option of going to a show or something similar going on. It was the last week of the Sculpture show this weekend, so as my TMI symptom was easing considerably we decided to ditch the house and head out. Packed my waterproof and intended being back in time to make bread for lunch. We weren’t expecting much having not been that impressed with the sculptures at Gloucester cathedral incl Hirst.

Walking through the village where Simon used to work was strange-never knew it was so big/pretty. We paid our £2.50 entrance fee and shelled out for the map and info booklet too (a very helpful woman told us how to access the sculptures the other side of the river!). Within seconds we were impressed. SO much crammed in, you really couldn’t blink or you’d miss something/trip up on something! (the head in the photo below for example is the last in a stepping stone sequence) The live toad on one of the sculptures was causing quite a stir and my knitting photographed in front of a knolly ball was mistaken as being part of the exhibit by a couple-that is until I whisked it up after photographing it!

We ran into an ex colleague of Sy’s a neighbour, chatted to lots of strangers including a lovely couple who I quizzed about their Babasling. They were so positive about all things to do with their 7 week old. Silly us aren’t tuned completley into baby speak protocol though as we didn’t ask baby’s name! BIG oops. One slight moan about chatting to some people is that some didn’t realise I’m pregnant! 35 weeks pregnant wearing dungarees!?! (I mentioned that by next show we’ll have a 2 year old toddler with us, they shocked, said ooooh when are you due!)

A photo collage of some sculptures, including some that weren’t created by a sculpture-yes those tights-too gorgeous not to photograph! Click to see larger image


We weren’t back in time for lunch, but luckily a local coffe shop (7a coffeshop) were doing the catering so we were in for a treat!) We also definitely didn’t need waterproofs in fact we went slightly pink!

ETA: last post I wrote Tim Hart not Ralph McTell. The latter sang Sally the Seal on Alphabet zoo, but Tim Hart’s nursery rhymes come highly recommeneded too!



July 6, 2011

SO my last update got half eaten? and ended on an embarassing bit that had it continued wouldn’t have been so cringeworthy. Let me try posting what was written and trying to remember what I wrote after…

Ha, so after that last post, my snacks changed to more high iron snacks such as apricots and nuts as my Hb was down to 11 from 13.5 at the beginning of pregnancy. I was feeling really shattered and wanted to make sure that it wasn’t iron related (thus solvable). Then a week ago my need to eat so much stopped-stopped and switched to “don’t eat too much at once” ie don’t pig out on a roast at parents. It led to a very uncomfortable evening!!

Between the shatteredness, tmi piles….. nope i can’t remember-unless it was to say that DIY continues, but the end is in sight?!!

I was going to post a pic, but the network was down, so I’ll do that now… It’s me at 31 weeks, so already 4 weeks out of date!! Am stood in front of the cot (useage plan for day time safe keeping/playing with mobile while i do important things like shower!)


Catch up

June 27, 2011

having probs with wordpress, bed’s calling back to edit tomo (5/7)


Planning & Reality

April 20, 2011

Planning to start a family, included thinking about how my body would deal with pregnancy and labour as well as baby, toddler, kiddy stages… Until 18 months ago (ish-might be longer), we had categorically decided not to have kids and were happy in that decision, it was right at the time! Then the desire and the possibilty combined and the thinking stage was lengthy. We discussed it with my parents mainly but just generally mulled it over and over and over… Having a family wasn’t going to be just about “I want” it had to be “we can”. I always plan anything with my current level of health in mind with a bit of leaway to not being as well as I am now. It’s been the best way of achieving my plans… Hoping for “well I might be better by then, I’ll plan to do X” had in the past proven to be the frustrating way of thinking. Living closer to family was a big part of our decision towards “we can”.

I knew to expect morning sickness (or all day nausea/being sick if i forgot to wear my pressure bands), but didn’t expect to feel SO shattered! I went back to not getting out of bed for more than an hour in the evening, warming up food in a microwave upstairs at lunch (baked potatoes and cheese were my stay down foods and strangely food helps nausea in pregnancy). It was pretty scary-had I made the right decision?? Would I be a good mum in this state?

Roll forward to 14 weeks (luckily I didn’t hang my hat on feeling better at the magic 12 weeks) and my energy levels started returning to my normal. There were weeks when 8.30 was an acceptable bedtime mind!

Today at 23.5 weeks, I felt pretty rough (ME wise) this morning, but took myself in my chair (now I can get it out the shed myself) down to the local park for a lunchtime picnic (sarnie and crisps and jam tarts) with Simon. Had a nice long nap this afternoon and a very chilled evening (while Sy’s been out mountain biking.)  He’s just home in fact, so I shall promise you a pic of the park tomorrow, but for now leave you with a pic of me at 20 ish weeks.

image in black and white. stood up, side profile, wearing striped tee, showing bump



April 25, 2010

Recently I was considering getting an SLR camera with liveview. Because of my visual field loss, I’ve always wondered if what I see through the view finder is what the picture will look like. Digital cameras with liveview have been fab. Hours of research revealed that an Olympus DSLR is condsiderably lighter than the Canon equivalents that Simon and Mum both have and I thought that it would make it easier to use because of that as well as its liveview function. This week though I’ve been playing about with Simon’s DSLR (no liveview) and having considerable fun with Aperture Priority settings. Not sure I need to invest in a lighter/liveview camera, as hey I can always take a pic and adjust the framing of it for the second pic if needed. The pic I like best from today’s attempts:


Why knit?

October 17, 2009

Eskimimi recently asked “Why do you knit?” I then started writing about how I started knitting and it all got a bit bogged down and boring, so it’s living in my drafts folder…

Why I knit in bullet points:

  • it’s a craft that (mostly) does not aggravate my pain
  • I love woolens
  • I love creating woolens
  • I like having something to show for my time
  • I enjoy the feeling of needles and wool and the knitting action
  • I feel connected with others through it (past and present)
  • maths!! 🙂

Interestingly Ekimimi commented about the thriftyness of knitting and people’s mis-belief that it’s a cheap past-time. It really really isn’t. Yet,  through necessity, I have managed to keep all my sweaters to a price I’d be willing to pay in a shop for a woolen garment (£30) with a few coming in cheaper… This budget knitting hasn’t meant knitting in acrylic either, but it has limited my choices… Socks work out quite expensive, but are at £5 for a pair of socks it’s a luxury I enjoy (I rarely go over that price bracket).

My question to any readers interested in replying is Where do you knit? with a sub question of what do you do whilst knitting and do you knit in company of your cohabitees should you cohabit (be that houseshare, family, etc)

I’m saving this entry until I have photographed my environment of knitting for you 😉

Morning knitting done in bed

the view from my bed (through ugly window)

view of green space visable through leaded bedroom window

where ravelry happens when the laptop needs charging

The living room-lunchtime and evening knitting

sofa with 2 balls of wool on arm-bright pictures above

Dining room,where wool winding happens, book and wool storage is and where a lot of bits of paper get scribbled on.

I do knit in company. In the evening if the tv’s on, I’m usually knitting. If we have music on, I’m definitely knitting. Being able to knit and chat and do is what makes knitting an amazing pasttime. In fact I am constantly trying to persuade Simon to knit 😉 “just” sitting watching tv seems strange, but then maybe that’s what he needs!

I’m off down to my parents for a week tomorrow and have some 75% wool 25% acrylic ready waiting for me to make owlets-my first forray into kids knitting and with machine washable wool too (socks excepted)


living with the downs of chronic illness

October 14, 2009

This autumn I’ve been struggling big time with living with chronic illness. It’s been 15 years since I had my first serious relapse and 10 since this last one started. I thought I had acceptance and coping down to a T (ok a 95%T). Tonight I’m close to tears again and I thought  I would use the opportunity to share a little-it’s hard to write about the bad times when they’re over…

I have M.E. visual field loss and a slight left sided weakness.

It’s not so much coping with these that I am struggling with, but their impact on my life.  I cannot work and as last year’s forray into part-time university proves, I cannot study out of the house either. OU exists, but is pricey for those not on means tested benefits and to be honest, especially their level 1 courses do not appeal. I’m also someone who likes to have a reason for learning and learn better from people than from books.

Good day’s are marked by being showered, dressed and teeth brushed and ideally getting downstairs for a bit during the day. Simon does 98% of everything from meal prep, to cleaning. Laundry has been one of my highlights this summer. Getting outside to hang it up and it being dry at the end of the day, feels earthly, wholesome-just good.

Talking of seasons, winter is generally my worst time health wise, with autumn seeing a decline and spring seeing a gradual slight improvement. Last year’s uni trial, which I had to abandon in November took me until May time ish to recover from…

Logically I know that I contribute to the relationship and running of our home, by just being. Taking care of finances, coming up with concoction ideas that keep our love of home cooked food alive.

At these recent down times though, when I am so shattered that the noise of kids playing outside sends my nervous system into sensory overload, I struggle emotionally. The scars of lost frienships become raw, the complete and utter isolation becomes overwhelming, the realisation about how much Simon does-yet there is no ability to change. I become angry and frustrated-all signs of NOT coping with being ill.

I recently googled coping with chronic illness and found an interesting article where she says that a Ployanna like existance is not real and that intermittent depression is normal and to be expected. Living in the acceptance stage takes daily work as it’s so different to our previous existance.

My “alter psyche” as this person calls our healthy previous us, would have studied medicine. Enjoyed the gym, cycling, socialising… I fully accept that my career aspirations will not occur. I also accept that the other won’t exist the way they do for healthy people. I know some people recover from ME and there are always “amazing stories” but 15 years is more than half of my life and wishing for “when’s” is something I realised was destructive a long time ago. Life in that state becomes markers of “still ill” instead of enjoying life along the way.

I love my knitting, music and reading when I can, food, family… The majority of the time I’m smileysair.

I do not know if it is the anniversary of uni starting, or a new acquaintance using me as an emotional dumping ground or autumn’s health decline that has got me into this. No idea. I just try and let the sadness out instead of berating myself for not coping and deal with tomorrow when it comes.