Archive for the ‘family’ Category

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more fairy footsteps, some backwards

April 24, 2012

Sleep has hit a rocky patch in the household. Learning to crawl and teething are laregely to blame.

It means the fantastic new carrier that we commisioned Opitai (on hiatus) to make hasn’t had as many outings as desired, but the cake shop has been frequented at weekends, mum and simon took Jess out to allow me to sleep the other weekend (walking helps her sleep and whilst sleeping she doesn’t need my boobs!) and it’s also allowed me to get into town albeit briefly under my own steam (well powerchairs steam). I love it (I might just have another one on the sewing table this coming weekend)

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Pic of the new carrier with early blossom (sunny, but not sunny enough not to wear gloves.)

Emotional hurdles have been many, sleep deprivation does that to you! Last night was one of those meltdowns but I really do have the best husband and parents for supporting me, they know how to tick my smile and hug boxes.

One big hurdle and daft though it sounds only 8 months into Jess’s life, but one thing that has been burning at the back of my brain is “The well me wanted 4 kids.” and “Breastfeeding is meant to lessen morning sickness” and “Having a baby in March-May time would be the ideal time” and “I’m 30!” but also “How could I sling two”. It’s the age old problem of open the doors to the “outside/old” world and suddenly a whole load of what ifs creep in. I’ve closed that door. I AM ill. I am incredibly lucky to be in a supported position where having Jess is a possibility and I love her. I will be happy with one kid, completely. IF I am going to revisit this decision it will be when Jess is 3/4/5 but I honestly don’t think that age and fairness on Jess will stack in favour of any future offspring.

I am not impressed with my frustrated anger when I am beyond tired or the way the hours seem to stretch, BUT I am managing to pull through and Jess is thriving. Crawling, now pulling herself up on furniture and now with tooth, claps and waves like a loon and squeals and grins like a good un.

Non baby related: I have bought a dress!! I need to buy a new summer wardrobe. The two are unrelated as the first is for a very special wedding in 6 weeks!

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realistic fight

March 20, 2012

So after the last entry I went a bit “I’ll fight the world as not fighting is making me feel very trapped/dependant/down”. Top of my list was the children’s centre access and parking. But I very soon realised that I don’t really want to access the centre anyway as the breastfeeding group that now meets there still doesn’t feel very me, so I was fighting it on principle only… I don’t have the energy to be that principled.

I have been out and about with Jess in the car more. We’ve been to rhyme time twice (again not really my thing, but it’s short and sweet enough and local and free…oh and I can double yellow park outside) checked out the breastfeeding group again and done little errands shopping (admittedly overdone the walking there though, as manual wheelchair and sling really doesn’t work and the hoist takes too long). I have also been out with Jess in my temporary sling by foot, just a very brief potter and also in my powerchair for half an hour stints in the SUNSHINE!

Simon has had 2 days off this week and we’ve enjoyed some extra family time. We baked, went for a long walk/wheel incl picnic. I went to get my eyes tested and tomorrow pick up my new glasses (a new look is always good right? I’ve taken baths with Jess and enjoyed anything from 10 minutes in bed reading afterwards to tonight’s half an hour as she is asleep on Simon! That warm out of bath (fresh sheets on one night) cosiness is bliss especially after the giggles of Jess in the bath.

Pics at Lydiard Park Swindon

family walk

family picnic

She’s one amazing little girl and I’ve felt that even more since I’ve been looking out for me more.

I should be getting my custom opitai baby carrier next week… watch this space!