Archive for April, 2012

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more fairy footsteps, some backwards

April 24, 2012

Sleep has hit a rocky patch in the household. Learning to crawl and teething are laregely to blame.

It means the fantastic new carrier that we commisioned Opitai (on hiatus) to make hasn’t had as many outings as desired, but the cake shop has been frequented at weekends, mum and simon took Jess out to allow me to sleep the other weekend (walking helps her sleep and whilst sleeping she doesn’t need my boobs!) and it’s also allowed me to get into town albeit briefly under my own steam (well powerchairs steam). I love it (I might just have another one on the sewing table this coming weekend)

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Pic of the new carrier with early blossom (sunny, but not sunny enough not to wear gloves.)

Emotional hurdles have been many, sleep deprivation does that to you! Last night was one of those meltdowns but I really do have the best husband and parents for supporting me, they know how to tick my smile and hug boxes.

One big hurdle and daft though it sounds only 8 months into Jess’s life, but one thing that has been burning at the back of my brain is “The well me wanted 4 kids.” and “Breastfeeding is meant to lessen morning sickness” and “Having a baby in March-May time would be the ideal time” and “I’m 30!” but also “How could I sling two”. It’s the age old problem of open the doors to the “outside/old” world and suddenly a whole load of what ifs creep in. I’ve closed that door. I AM ill. I am incredibly lucky to be in a supported position where having Jess is a possibility and I love her. I will be happy with one kid, completely. IF I am going to revisit this decision it will be when Jess is 3/4/5 but I honestly don’t think that age and fairness on Jess will stack in favour of any future offspring.

I am not impressed with my frustrated anger when I am beyond tired or the way the hours seem to stretch, BUT I am managing to pull through and Jess is thriving. Crawling, now pulling herself up on furniture and now with tooth, claps and waves like a loon and squeals and grins like a good un.

Non baby related: I have bought a dress!! I need to buy a new summer wardrobe. The two are unrelated as the first is for a very special wedding in 6 weeks!

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